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There’s a stop sign ahead

JOKESB20160906150806

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with …

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Why the big pause?

JOKESB20160906150806

A polar bear goes into a pub and says to the barman: ‘I’d like a…………………..packet of salt and vinegar crisps please.’  The barman replies, ‘sure, but why the big pause?’ ### A guy is driving down the motorway, knitting. Obviously this is dangerous driving as the driver has no hands …

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Just put it on my bill

JOKESB20160906150806

A man ran into the house breathless and he said to his wife, ‘Honey, you should be so proud of me, I just saved $1.50 by not taking the bus, but I chased it all the way home. The wife replied, ‘You want a medal for that? You should have …

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Do you think you’re stupid

JOKESB20160906150806

There were three tomatoes walking down a street. The daddy tomato and the mammy tomato were way ahead of the baby tomato. The daddy tomato got so annoyed at the baby tomato for being so slow that he turned around real quickly and smacked his hands together and roared ‘KETCHUP’ …

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Is Google male or female?

JOKESB20160906150806

Wife: ‘How would you describe me?’ Husband: ‘ABCDEFGHIJK.’ Wife: ‘What does that mean?’ Husband: ‘Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.’ Wife: ‘Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?’ Husband: ‘I’m just kidding!’ ### Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn’t let you finish …

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